Sorry folks, this has nothing to do with bank fraud or anything like that.
Your ego’s writing checks your body can’t cash. -Iceman (you better know the movie)
I’m a bit of an egotistical asshole. Yeah, no surprise there. But sometimes I realize the old confidence perhaps goes a little too far. I had two incidents in the past two days that made me realize I started to cross that line again.
The first was on a private, non-work email list. Someone asked for a simple opinion and I ended up delivering the sermon from the mount (I hear Jews do that every now and then). It should have been a two sentence answer, and I responded with a page of dribble that this individual most likely already knew. Sure, it was accurate dribble, but they didn’t need to hear it from me, and then I had the audacity to follow it up with a second private email of something I’m sure they’d already seen.
The second incident was tonight in Karate class. I studied TaeKwon-Do for about 15 years before moving to Arizona. It’s basically the style Michael Farnum has recently taken up. After a two year break I recently started back up, but with a different style, due to an instructor I hit it off with. We were sparring tonight and he was scoring on me at will. I’ve competed as high as nationals, but the reality is I was totally humbled. I could see exactly what he was doing (which I suppose is good), and couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it (bad when you’re getting hit in the face).
Anyway, I took a step back and realized that it’s time for me to take the proverbial chill pill. Even when we’re really good at something, it’s all to easy to believe your own hype and take it too far. Especially when much of that hype is self generated.
When I first started working as a paramedic I remember one of my instructors telling us you had to be cocky to survive the job, but if you went too far you’d kill people. Maybe even kill yourself.
I don’t think I’ve come close to that line, but this week’s made me realize that it’s yet again time to take a step back, re-evaluate, and mellow out. Perhaps I let the stress of building a new house get to me.
Not that I won’t still be an egotistical asshole, but at least I won’t be an obnoxious, out of control egotistical asshole.
And, to that person I responded to on that email, if you’re reading- sorry I went overboard.
Even Maverick learned his lesson and came back to the game stronger. (Seriously, if you haven’t caught the movie reference, you need help).
For the record, I wrote this one for myself, but if any of you get any value out of it so much the better.
Hope this isn’t too touchy feely, but I’m getting used to the new content of the blog myself. How weird, I just admitted something I’d normally only share with close friends at the bar to, like, the entire Internet.
Blogging is weird.